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more It’s happening on college campuses all across the country: the same multi-stage, highly gendered hookup. Step 5-A: Be (or claim to be) plastered: “If students are being careless,” writes Wade, “they can’t be held responsible for what they did, but neither can they be held responsible for who they did.” Step 5-B: Cap your hookups: Multiple hookups with the same person could lead that person (usually the woman, men stereotypically fear) to “catch feelings” and think a relationship is forming.
Sociology professor Lisa Wade breaks it down in her engaging, illuminating study, “American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus”: Step 1: Pregame: Get dolled up (if you’re a woman.) Get drunk (all genders.) Step 2: Grind: Dance (if you’re a woman.) Rub your junk against a woman’s trunk (if you’re a man.) Step 3: Initiate a hookup: Turn to face the guy grinding on you (if you’re a woman, and you’ve received hand gestures from your friends that indicate that the guy is hookup-worthy.) Step 4: Do ... Step 5-C: Create emotional distance: “The rule,” writes Wade, “is to be less close after a hookup, at least for a time.” And “plenty of students feel uncomfortable with this proposition, but hookup culture has a way of enforcing compliance.” Compliance, and often unkindness. It is, in short, a feat of social engineering.” Wade offers brief but fascinating looks into the history of courtship in America and the history of the American college that, taken together, helped engineer today’s campus culture.
Kids and young adults used to "go steady," and now they're just "hooking up." In American Hookup, sociologist Lisa Wade examines the practices of modern sex and dating without moralizing, "asking not 'How do we go back?
Donna Freitas wants college students to get serious about good sex.
The problem is that they seem so miserable while doing it.
Much like the sex had by the characters on Lena Dunham’s HBO series “Girls,” the sex described by the Penn undergrads in the story sounds sort of grim; less like sex and more like work.
Given current hookup culture, young people need to ask themselves: What does sex mean to me? Why do you think campus hookups are something we should be concerned about?
This situation is troubling—but not because these women want to “put themselves first.” It is important to have a good sense of one’s identity and needs before giving that self to another.
I was thinking of it as a provocative way to talk about the meaning or purpose of sex.
I have a background in philosophy of religion and gender studies, and when we talk of "ends," it's about ends in themselves, the purpose or meaning or "end" of something.
Michael's College and is the author of several books.
I spoke with her on the phone about why hookup culture is the only option on college campus and why the biggest losers are, surprisingly, young men.