Propinquity in dating
I discovered a new word that helped me understand a few things about attraction, things that I had already figured out for myself in a way, but it’s nice to see a little bit of science backing it up too.
This is why online dating is such a difficult endeavor for men, even when you’re gorgeous like me.
If there’s no visual attraction right off the bat, it’s very difficult to spark attraction, unless the effort is made to meet in real life and on a regular basis to see if we can click from there.
Most women will not bother, partly because they get bombarded by prospects and hence have to find a way to quickly filter out undesirables, so only the top alphas of the alphas are going to make the cut (and sometimes not even.) If you don’t look good and your profile is badly written and generic, it’s out with you. Although sometimes I try to force myself to dig a little deeper, if a girl seems kinda cute, I’ll read their profiles to see if there’s anything that might offer the promise of chemistry: similar interests, beliefs, personalities, etc.. The attraction is very meager, but with physical contact and compatible personalities something might eventually spark.
Establishing influence is a multi-step process that moves the influenced through four key stages.
They move from But you’re not going to get there by simply writing or talking about a particular subject matter.
Once I was out of college there was only the work place and the bar/social scene where one can regularly meet and interact with women.(13) Homans, working from the perspective of exchange theory, states that people consider the rewards versus the costs of any potential relationship (Lindzay and Aronson 1969) and are attracted to those people who provide the most reward at the least cost.From this perspective, the ideal relationship is one in which both participants have equal costs and rewards, so that neither feels cheated or exploited.The theory was first crafted by psychologists Leon Festinger, Stanley Schachter, and Kurt Back in what came to be called the Westgate studies conducted at MIT.In the study, the strongest friendships developed between students who lived next to each other on the same floor, or between students who lived on different floors, if one of those students lived near the stairways.