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I was having withdrawal symptoms and I found myself scrawling through my contacts when I saw him. x”, I was so drunk that I then proceed to throw up out of my bedroom window passing out shortly afterwards like something out of a Brits on tour documentary, forgetting all about the message. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck you can laugh this off just make a joke out of it, it’s fine, so I did and it was (aside from my battered ego), until last night.

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I’ve also taken off the false eyelashes that, earlier that evening, I had so carefully fixed to my eyelids so I have to do a quick patch up job with some liquid eyeliner, red lipstick too, seems, through the vodka haze to be a monumentally good idea. He video calls me, and there I am in all my pissed up glory on camera for the world (him) to see. The cold light of day is shining through my window, ok it’s May, it’s pretty warm but the image needs to be bleak.

The result leaves me looking something akin to The Joker from Batman. My hair is so erratic I consider telling him I accidentally stuck my fingers in the plug socket, I don’t. So I can look at him, sit there showering myself in tobacco as he bashes one off. I think I might be sick, no, not because of him, but because of the 3 slices of bread I decide to consume in my post-conversation gloom. I convince myself he’ll come back, I turn the volume up on my computer ready to jump back to instantious fabulousness at the sound of a message. What actually happens is rather more atrocious; I go to my options, I look for blocked users and I re-add the American.

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